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/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

"Does God really help those who help themselves?"

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Leon's Journal, Feb 3 1847: I am sure that consuming a particular seaweed can cure my guardian of his vampirism.

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Good news is we hit the mega jackpot.

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Person A: would you rather die by being set on fire or drown?

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Dont you just hate it when you're standing at the traffic lights with people queing up waiting patiently for the lil Green man to appear.

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After struggling for a long time to get my bike seat as comfortable as possible, I finally have it right where I want it to be.

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I have a secret stash of canned veggies that I keep behind the cookies.

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We all jumped for Joy,

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I personally think it’s never too late to start trying something new in life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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